I have come to go, to fly away, and do so forever. This going away, the feeling that this world, this embodiment, is a prison was always in me from the very beginning. I always felt claustrophobic in this existence. Family, friendship, relatives, culture and convention and conviction, I disliked all of it from the very beginning. I lived for a moment to come in which I disappear into thin air, at last free from the heavy burden of having to have a family and friends.
I have this tendency to doodle a lot when I am bored. I doodle aimlessly; but always at the end I would be surprised to find at the heart of all of my aimless doodling the shape of a flying bird. The flying bird shows up in all my work; I wouldn’t be able to draw a flying bird consciously; but what comes unconsciously is always that beautiful flying bird, as if my subconscious has to remind me of Sophia Perennis. And to fly, to go, is the love of my life. As a child I dreamed of going to space; people thought I wanted to be an astronaut; but I just wanted to go to space, to its remotest depths, and just float freely. I wished so that after I died they would shoot my body into deep space, so it can go forever, always going and going. This is what I desire: To go, to fly away, to be out of this suffocating existence whose worst nightmares are family and relatives and friends, etc.
My best hours, my happiest moments, are in silence and solitude. I hate to belong to anything, to anyone, to any idea, and even to myself. I am still counting down to that precious moment in which I will disappear into thin air. I love this life for its silence and solitude only; the rest is bad news.
I am that bird who is born to fly away, and never to settle down. Man is born inside a deep well, where family resides. His task is to climb up and free himself forever. There is a rope and that is my mantra. I wish to fly away and never to look back. I belong only in deep space with its absolute freedom. I have come to be liberated. What use is of this world with its family and gold! I want none of it; I need none of it. I am not of this world, for if I were I would not be born to fly away. And this wish I bore within me from childhood. I want only the intoxication of silence and solitude in which I know I am forever pure, infinite, and free, touched by nothing and no one, for I am the eternal lotus.