NOEMAYA

This infinity that is in front of me, the infinity that shows itself to me as an indefinite extension of space and an indefinite duration of time, as here and there, as now and then! This infinity that I have attributed to the cosmos outside of myself at the cost of defining myself as a finite being situated within that cosmos! This is the misplaced infinity of my own soul; this infinity is within me and not outside of me.

I, the transcendental witness, cannot perceive my own infinity directly and as it is in itself, as also the eyes cannot see themselves directly. To see and know my infinity I project it outside of myself and come to see its reflection, much like the eyes that can see themselves only through their reflection in a mirror. This cosmos that is displaying itself before me is the reflection of my own infinity appearing outside of myself.

But since I am essentially infinite, there cannot be an “outside-of” myself, for my infinity precludes any exteriority and otherness. Thus, that which appears to be outside of me, this apparently limitless cosmos, this too is nothing but an experience within me, much like the experience of a man who in his dream is roaming around in a world that is nowhere but within him.

This phenomenal existence is my infinity experiencing itself within itself as the not-itself, as the other; my infinity, my dear, precious infinity, wears the mask of “otherness” and dancing before me as the cosmos tells me a thousand tales from the city of my own heart. This whole universe is an imaginary friend.

This cosmos is the face of my soul; it is the bright side of my infinity, and the unknowable “I” is the dark side of the soul. I am the sole dweller of the Void.